Wild Drive: Malik's in Charge
by Raven Kaous
Summary: Slight Yaoi Implications. One-Shot. Malik's got his hands on a car....Yami, Bakura and Ryou are with him....chaos ensues. Watch out for pedestrians! .V Insanely funneh....co-written by Anime fan Meepa


Ok..this is just some random thing .....yeah..i dont care if you dont like  
  
it...blah..oh well..its a one shot....and YES its in script form..it was easier  
  
that way..and its a humour one shot...yeah....so sue me...im being lazy (duh)  
  
I dont own YGO so nyah!  
  
*....*: actions  
  
You are in "Bahamas..................somewhere"  
  
The Scenario: The gang are at the Bahamas. Yami found a hair in his food and  
  
yarfed...and so on...  
  
Yami: MALIK!  
  
Yami: IMMA GONNA SMACK YOU!!  
  
Malik: Huh?  
  
Malik: Why are you going to smack me?  
  
Yami: *is standing around in his funky blue beach shorts, they rest dangerously  
  
low on his hips, the trail of hair   
  
that runs from his navel to down south showing*  
  
Malik: Oh.  
  
Yami: I dont know.  
  
Malik: *grumbles* You still hungry?  
  
Yami: No.  
  
Yami: I lost my appetite  
  
Yami: *cringes at the thought of yarfing again*  
  
Malik: *shrugs* Okay then. I'm just going to drive your jeep around. *grins*  
  
Yami: OKAY!  
  
Yami: *gets in*  
  
Yami: You comin' guys?  
  
Malik: *sighs in defeat* I meant by myself moron....  
  
Bakura: *continues latching onto Ryou's back* WOOOOOOOO!!--*pauses* ........Wha?  
  
Ryou: *jumps* Why do you have to be so happy? *looks at Yami* Uh sure, if you  
  
get this off me.  
  
Bakura: I'm not a 'this'! I'm a human....I think....  
  
Ryou: I think you're lying to yourself.  
  
Malik: *gets an evil look on his face* On second thought, this could be fun...  
  
*drums his fingers on the steering   
  
wheel*  
  
Bakura: *looks at Malik and arches a brow* ............Ryou.........Are jeeps  
  
flamable?  
  
Malik: *looks at them innocently* What? I'm not going to do anything but  
  
drive.....  
  
Ryou: Uhh it depends on if there is gas in them *also looks at Malik then shrugs  
  
and climbs into the jeep with difficulty*  
  
Malik: *puts his fingers together* Excellent...  
  
Bakura: +lets go of Ryou's back and climbs into his lap+  
  
Ryou: Why do you always have to sit on me?!  
  
Malik: *grins* Buckle up.....  
  
Bakura: Because you're comfy. *looks at Malik* ........You're dangerous...  
  
Ryou: *shoves him off and buckles up*  
  
Malik: *grins* Yes...yes I am...... *waves his hand in front of Yami's face*  
  
HEY! Baka! You alive in there? *bangs on his   
  
head*  
  
Yami: Oh...  
  
Yami: ow!  
  
Yami: Yeah!  
  
Yami: I was thinking...  
  
Malik: Well then buckle up!  
  
Yami: *clicks*  
  
Yami: Fine  
  
Malik: *laughs* ...You thinking....*starts laughing* Oxymoron! Paradox!  
  
Bakura: *pouts and grumbles* Well I want to sit in someone's lap, Ryou! *whines  
  
and grumbles* Meanie.  
  
Yami: I hate these.........................what!!??  
  
Bakura: *looks at Yami* He called you an oxymoron...  
  
Malik: *shrugs* Ready or not here we go!! *jams the jeep in gear and rockets  
  
into reverse, turning around and   
  
speeding like a madman down the road*  
  
Yami: Whoaaaaaaaaa!!  
  
Yami: (What the hell is an oxymoron?)  
  
Bakura: (Hell if I know.)  
  
Malik: *grins* And now you remember why you never let me drive! (*takes his eyes  
  
off the road to look at Yami* I'm   
  
not sure....Something to do with two things that never go together...i  
  
think.....)  
  
( A/n: lmao, i asked what an oxymoron was, and someone said it was a painkiller  
  
for cancer patients! LMAO!)  
  
Yami: OH  
  
Bakura: *attempts to stand up in his seat, being the only one not seat belted  
  
in*  
  
Yami: Oooh!  
  
Malik: *looks back and swerves around an old man, fishtailing*   
  
Ryou: WHOA MALIK SLOW DOWN!!!  
  
Malik: Stupid old man, watch where you going! Jumping out in front of a jeep  
  
like that!!  
  
Yami: *unclicks and stands up, holding on to the roll bar*  
  
Bakura: YEAH!!  
  
Bakura: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *deep breath* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Malik: *is hanging out of the car window shouting obscenities at the people  
  
diving to get out of the way*  
  
Bakura: *laughs hysterically, his hair flying back*  
  
Ryou: *trys to stand up but his seat belt holds him down* Damnit! *fights  
  
against his seat belt pulling on it*   
  
..Damn..mother...!!!  
  
Bakura: WHOA! *as his shades fly off his head and knock some random person out*  
  
RYOU CURSED! OH MY   
  
RA!!  
  
Ryou: *blinks and looks back over his shoulder* They could sue you for that...  
  
Malik: *grins* Yessss... All part of my plot..... *goes as fast as she can,  
  
heading towards a cliff overhanging some water*  
  
Yami: *stands up on his seat, still holding the bar*  
  
Yami: Malik...........  
  
Yami: Malik!  
  
Yami: MAAALLLLIIIKKKKK!!!  
  
Yami: STOP THE DAMNED CAR!!!!!  
  
Malik: *grins* Sorry! Can't hear you!! *laughs*   
  
Yami: Wha--?! Yes you can!!  
  
Ryou: *blinks* We're all gonna die.......WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!  
  
Ryou: *wails*  
  
Yami: You just answered me!!  
  
Malik: *grins as they go over the side of the cliff*  
  
Bakura: *blinks*  
  
Malik: WOOOHOOO!!!  
  
Bakura: *blinks again* ....Hey, not a bad way to go.  
  
Ryou: *looks down* Whoaaaa!  
  
Bakura: *looks around* Wow its so pretty out here!  
  
Malik: *grins* Oohh look at the pretty water....*unbuckles his seat belt and  
  
jumps out of the jeep while their still in   
  
the air*  
  
Yami: *coughs and looks around for a few seconds* ........Uhm.....We're so gonna  
  
die.  
  
Bakura: *looks at Yami* REALLY?! awesome....  
  
Ryou: No...NOT awesome!  
  
Yami: AAAHHH!  
  
Yami: JUMP!  
  
Yami: NOW!  
  
Bakura: Jump?  
  
Bakura: WHY?  
  
Malik: *hits the water and swims back to shore* Hahahahahah...I'm probably gonna  
  
die when they get over   
  
here...but--hahah--that was awesome!  
  
Yami: *grabs Ryou and then jumps out, crashing into the water*  
  
Malik: *is still laughing* Hahah! That was great....  
  
Bakura: *shrieks and wails* But I CANT SWIM!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yami: *rolls his eyes and magically grabs Yami, toting them back to shore*  
  
Malik: *sitting on the beach, drinking a daquiri, women surrounding him, the  
  
drink starts coming out of his nose*   
  
BWAHAHAHAHAH! YOU LOOK LIKE BEACHED FISH *continues laughing*  
  
Ryou: *is twitching from fright*  
  
Bakura: *is poking him with a stick* Ryou?  
  
Ryou *dead*  
  
Bakura: NOOO RYOU *begins doing mouth to mouth*  
  
Ryou: *comes back alive*  
  
Bakura: *continues*  
  
Malik: *twitches and fwaps Bakura in the head* HEY! BITCH *looks at Ryou* That  
  
will be 5 dollars *puts his   
  
hand out*  
  
Ryou: WHAT! WHY!  
  
Malik: He's my whore, and you used him, so you owe me 5 dollars.  
  
Bakura: *whines* Only five dollars! I thought I was up to 10.50!  
  
Malik: You've just been demoted!   
  
Yami: *beats Malik over the head with a frozen fish* DAMNIT MALIK! YOU ALMOST  
  
GOT US KILLED .   
  
*****  
  
Malik: @.@  
  
Yami: *stops beating him in the head and throws the fish away* Hey, Ryou, lets  
  
go get some icecream!   
  
Ryou: Alright!  
  
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, the three crusaders left Malik behind and  
  
went in search of Icecream.  
  
Ok thats it....press the pretty button please! If you do, we'll send Bakura over  
  
to whore for you! XD 


End file.
